[[MY CANDY SHOP]]

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

it's a beautiful day!

the last post was deleted because after reading thru it again, i thot it was a lil hysterical on my part to write it. maybe i've been thinking too much. ok, all you independant women, i'm joining the club!

what should i do with the $80 takashimaya voucher that i've won? a dior saddle? lining for my bikini(hah! but really what, my bikini doesn't have any lining!)? silicon breasts? yes, you read me correctly, i definitely need breast augmentation. but with $80, that just covers a small fraction of the cost of... the bra that i've been aiming for a long time. :) check it out here.

off to a brand new start of the day again... today is gonna be wonderful!

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

mood swings. suck it.

1. woke up late. [what's new?]
2. got pcb design quiz and i forgot. [barely passed with 11/20.]
3. stupid workers cut my pcb board wrongly and they didn't bother to replace a new one for me. in the end i had to use the teacher's template [i'm paying school fees lor!]
4. jacqueline(cho thu zar aung) got damn pissed because her pcb board also got cut wrongly, then jinhui tried to rectify it but it got worse, then she got so pissed she threw the board at him [never incur a woman's warth!]
5. restrained myself from eating cos i'm darned fat standing next to weiliang. [delon can i stand beside you more often, so that i'd look slimmer; but you'd have to get your ass down to school first ya?]

6. aidah swore she did not fancy standing beside me today because everyone was pointing fingers at me and looking over at ms SEG 2004 [that would be me!] while i just kept my eyes to the floor when i walked around school.
7. freakin cold in school [forgot to bring sweater again]
8. fell asleep in electric circuits lab [aidah kept asking me to wake up haha]
9. got engineering drawing quiz and i forgot. [didn't have time to do 1 last dimensioning, damn it.]
10. feedback from ivan - eileen(the 1st runner up from the ms SEG contest) said i wasn't pretty and there was nothing great about me except that i'm very "gao yo", as in know how to shake. [yes, beauty pageants contestants are that hypocritical.]

11. no appetite when i went to eat with dawn and company. barely ate and now my tummy's growling again. [what the hell is wrong with my body? screwed up again?!]
12. weiliang's supposed to help me wash car. in the end he changed his mind. [ditto. i shall not say anything]
13. this wierd i-don't-know-who-in-the-world-is-he alex guy from the SEG club keeps msging me. ALL DAY LONG. damn pissed with him cos i really don't wanna seem unfriendly but he keeps bugging me day and night [stop msging me cos i'm not interested to talk to you!!!]
14. heard from zac that william told everyone that i gave him my number [that's total bull shit.]
15. it's 1.27am and i'm still blogging while weiliang and delon are plotting against me in msn. i'm going off to save myself. *poof*

Monday, March 29, 2004

ladidadida~

twas' a boring day yester. i woke up at 8+am then lazed in bed until 11am. was late for morning mass, so i ate breakfast then went back to sleep again. haha. :P woke up late again for weiliang's soccer match. ergh. what pigs we were. nothing fantastic about the rest of the day. basically it was just about waking up late. haha.

question for the day: "you got a new bf izzit?" asks justin.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

euphoria!

yesterday:
woohoo. it was a very shocking win for me. i actually won the miss SEG contest! think the other contestants were angry with me because they joined so long ago, and i only joined 3 days back and won the competition yesterday. i'm elated!

i actually screwed up all my catwalks. but with confidence and poise, i won the judges over! yay~ :) ok i'm being too heavy-headed now. i have to accredit my win to my classmates - who stayed throughout the whole event with me, weiliang - who was nice enough travel from school-my home-school to get my shorts for the sportswear catwalk, and all the other supporters whom i have no idea came out from where. haha.

the dressing room had ZERO reception, so i couldn't receive any calls or sms. was hoping weiliang could turn up for the whole event, but he had to go off at the time the show starts, for a dinner. the event was supposed to finish at 9.30pm, but it only ended at 10pm. by the time i got out of the auditorium, it was already 10.25pm.

my classmates were waiting for me, and wanted to celebrate my win with me. just when i said yes, it struck me that i was supposed to meet weiliang after that. so when i declined, i looked up, and saw someone smiling at me. what a pleasant surprise. [oh wait actually i was very happy and couldn't stop smiling hahaha] there he was, walking down the stairs. turned out that he tried his luck to see if i was still around in school cos he couldn't get me on my mobile. so sweet! awww...

since we both drove, he trailed behind my car and accompanied me home so that i could bathe and go with him to his friend's birthday chalet after that. wahaha he almost fell asleep on my bed cos i took a long while to bathe and get changed. as usual. *grin*

went to the chalet at east coast. didn't expect to stay the night (he didn't tell me!), so i wore a skirt there. bed no space, so we had to sleep on the floor. :\ and the space was so so so small we had to squeeze. :| so many complaints. but i liked that we cuddled together. he gave me a sense of protection. bonus: he smelt nice too. ;)

today:
only when i woke up this morning, did i remember that i'm supposed to go with clarice to JB, and that she's in the same chalet as i was. so i popped over her unit to find her after i put down the phone with her. haha. but in the end we decided not to go, cos i was too lazy to get out of the chalet. :P

i finally made up my mind. after countless calls that i've rejected from him, and countless sms that i refused to reply. i finally plucked up my courage to tell him that i wanted out of the relationship. as you're reading this, he's desperately trying to salvage it. but its too late. don't understand him - how a person who keeps talking about breaking up be scared when the other part initates it instead?

bah, i've had enough of that shit. *change topic* i think i've got the laughing fits from the time i won the competition until now. help! i can't seem to stop laughing!

Thursday, March 25, 2004

tired tired very very tired

f*cking tired now. went zouk last nite, then sent the girls(xuelin, sharon & clarice) home. luckily sharon asked me to stop by the roadside to let her puke, otherwise i'll have a tough time cleaning the car! qingshun fell asleep in my car after those round of drinks, so i had to send him home too. reached his condominium gate, then i was like "excuse me"x10 and the security guard couldn't hear me. duh. SLEEPING ON THE JOB! argh. so i woke him up to tell him to ownself walk in.

i had planned initially to leave by 1.30am. but it was so much fun last nite! quan was there too. surprisingly, because he doesn't go zouk at all. my girlfriends, qingshun they all, weiliang... omg how can anyone get enough of this fun thing called friendship when we're all having loads of fun dancing?

funny thing was, qingshun was trying to hit on clarice. and quan was trying to hit on xuelin(also known as his ex lover). WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HIT ON ME? *sulks*

ok. i'm actually quite tired now so i'll just summarise the remaining bits.

slept for 2 hrs last night and woke up late to go to school. blood donation drive was quite busy. had SEG(school of engineering) nite rehersal after that. i accidently got in to the mr/ms SEG contest the day before, because they were looking for contestants for the contest tomorrow! like 2 days for me to prepare all the shit - catwalk: casual wear, sports wear, evening wear; talentime: singing, dancing; and q&a[the part which i think i'll not fare well in].

left school at 10.30pm just now after rehersals. now dead tired. have to go retire for the night. good nite honeys. :)

$150 $150 $150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6 demerit points. $150 fine. i was speeding to send people back home. damn it. next time i shouldn't drive out. next time i shouldn't go out on wednesday nites at all. then i wouldn't have needed to speed cos i've got school at 8am tomorrow morning and there are tons of stuff that i need to do that are untouched. :\ f*ck the stupid speed camera at AYE!!!

i'm damn sleepy now. weiliang arh.. next time you should just send me back home instead. save my $150 fine and 6 demerit points. *cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy* think my mum will confiscate my car keys if she finds out... :(

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

fat like blubber should be removed by liposuction

ok i'm very lazy to blog, so i'll just take the short way out of using short sentances. :P

yesterday:
woke up late for school. didn't feel like going school. skipped school for the 3rd time in 7 days. stayed home to do my research for the meeting. met dewi(my funny "got milk?" team co-ordinator) at 5pm in school to discuss our community service club project. meeting was fast. trottled off to meet the buyer for my hp after that. she didn't seem as fierce as i imagined. quite a funny girl. [oh wait, can't be as funny as the buyer i met on monday! haha.]

put the car at home. changed. met weiliang for dinner. we took public transport although he was complaining! whee~ think i haven't taken public transport in a while, but anyway... we reached nydc at wheellock place at around 9.30pm. ordered our food, and as i turned my head, i saw ansel at the counter working. haha. luck was shining - ansel treated us a to free drink, and since weiliang also used to work there too, the asst manager gave us a free mudpie too. very filling arh! went to borders to browse around, then went home.

when i reached home, i msged justin to report. went online to talk cock with friends, then called justin. the moment i said hello, he started balderdashing on the phone... he was just going on and on about "why you and weiliang don't wanna be together?" blabber blabber blabber. la la la la la~ SOMEBODY SAVVVVEEEEEE ME! in the end, he just said "ok i'm gonna hang up now" then he put the phone down. maybe my girlfriends will save me from this misery tonite. :|

today:
woke up at 8am. now still at the computer. duh. have to cut the cardboard for my project. will blog later if i've got anything productive to report. ja ne!

Sunday, March 21, 2004

argh^10

at 5.15pm, after countless attempts at reaching her, my 2nd sis FINALLY returned the call. she said she was still at her bf's place and will take a cab back now. i wanted to leave my gram's place at 5.30pm, so that we'll be there early for the show. argh.

so in the end we set off for singapore expo at 6pm. don't know what was wrong with all the drivers on the road today. they were all driving at 70-80km/h on a highway! EVERYONE! argh. so after a long 15 minutes waiting to turn into the expo carpark, we arrived at 6.35pm. it was raining cats and dogs to make matters worse. beauty and the beast, wait for us!

alas, they didn't wait for us to start the show. *pout* so when we got in, mickey mouse was already halfway thru the introduction of the show. luckily the main cast haven't came out yet. hee hee. :) ain't that bad lah.

during the show, the stupid guy behind me was trying to take pictures, so his camera was just like next to my face. and he also kept putting his leg on my chair. what an annoying guy. oh wait. his daughter was worse. in the middle of the show, she shouts(yes, shouts!) "daddy daddy why the trees can move?" DUH - 3-year-olds.

i paid $4.50 for a popcorn box made of paper, with $1.50 worth of soft and cold popcorn inside. yes, popcorn cost 6 bloody dollars at the show. just because it had belle and the beast's face on the box?! totally not worth it. ditto.

oh yah and there was this even more annoying boy who was seated next to my 2nd sis. he was clearly very bored, so in order to keep himself from not falling asleep, he resorted to rocking himself back and forth, playing with his beauty and the beast torch, tapping his foot, and dropping his water bottle. DUH DUH DUH. thank goodness the good view made up for the loss. i'm gonna go disney on ice the next time they come!!! whee~

surprise surprise. i just opened my outlook express, and got an email saying that quan just added me into his friendster friends list. i thought he's still angry with me for breaking up with him so suddenly. it's been a year. he's got over it i guess. thank goodness. i've got one less foe. :)

tale as old as time

singtel is really screwed up. my colour-me-tones was supposed to be activated like a week ago, but it's still not working! ergh. what is wrong with the stupid system?!

was supposed to meet the buyer for my cell phone yesterday, but she didn't reply my sms. then she msged me again this morning, and again she didn't reply. then when i called her, she said that she didn't receive!?! i doubt my 8850 is the one with the problem. so it must be her phone. crazy woman.

gonna watch beauty & the beast later with my sisters. will let you all know how it goes later... au revoir!

Saturday, March 20, 2004

short and sweet

no time to update blog. but here's a summary of yesterday:
school. busy. meeting. watched my girl 2. nice. touching. sad. my $8.50 was not wasted. managed to control my emotions and not cry in the cinema. hah.

summary of today so far:
managed to sold off my 6610. school. busy. saw cellphone ads for panasonic. gonna check it out now. need to upgrade my 6610 for new buyer. think need to pay. damn. nvm. will call nokia and check. off to check the cellphones out now. taataa!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

if you drink, don't drive; if you drive, don't drink

didn't have time to update my blog yesterday. but it definitely was a fulfilling day. i managed to complete my semestral project at 3am, slept for a lil while, then woke up (late!) to go school. handed up my project, and my cute china lecturer(eh juz realised that he looks a bit like teck lip?!) said it was very neatly done. haha! :D *beams with pride*

quickly i dashed to the canteen to copy my engineering drawing assignment. think it kind of looked like sh*t cos we were all rushing to hand it up before the deadline. bah. i don't give a damn. but we had to skip lecture for it though.

handed up the assignment, then the lecture ended early, so we didn't need to go back to class. school officially ended at 1 plus!!! wahaha. but i still had to stay in school to do project. :/ so i butterfly-ed between doing the project, then rushed off for a meeting with my CCA group, then coming back to do the project again.

now if you think that was the end of my day, no no, it was anything but. after that, i went with 3 other classmates to watch movie. [they stayed back in school to wait for me to finish with the project cos they wanted to sit my car. at the backseat, they were torturing mr mogu(my $39.90 bear) - wrapping my sweater around him and he looked like those afghanistan women!] so we reached the box office and i said "4 tickets for the ring 2 please". then i was like "eh wrong show la. haha". what's wrong with me? in the afternoon i also asked my classmates if they wanted to watch "yan jing 2". can never get the name right. duh.

had dinner before going into the cinema, so we arrived when the show just started. first part was a lil scary - when shu qi attempted suicide, all the spirits were crowding around her. then the middle part was a lil funny - singaporean artistes were playing small roles. it started with san yow playing the cop with the confused look. haha. that was funny. and they filmed a few scenes at ano mo kio mrt station(which became something like "tai po station" in the show). ending part was a lil scary - go watch it to see! :P but i still think that eye 1 was more scary ah.

what an exhausting day! but it was still not over. weiliang asked me to go mambo with him. so i msged sharon to see if she was going or not. she said she was, so we decided to go down. he drove me down, and we arrived glamourously at 12 plus. [yah yah i'll try not to be late the next time! :D]

drinks were aplenty yesterday, courtesy of the men who paid for them. we had like 30 bottles of e33 and 4 jugs of vodka redbull. i wonder why they're so extravagant on drinks - don't they have better things to spend their money on? ah ha, but wait, it's because of these men that ladies like us get free drinks right? heehee. like the men on their spending extravaganza, so was i on a drinking extravaganza.

ansel jokingly tried to be funny with me when i stood near them. he kept saying "dump your boyfriend, go for me or qingshun". haha. then he asked me for a kiss, so i gave him air kisses. he then tried to conspire with qingshun to hug me(cos i was standing in the middle) by playing "london bridge is falling down". qingshun very funnily replied "wo dang dan bu qi"! haha. drunk dudes are indeed hillarious.

there was also this other guy called royce. reminds me of royce' chocolates. haha. he came over to me and said "steph, why don't you have a drink?" then i was like "er sorry i don't know you". then sharon came over and said "royce have you met steph?" and he replied "no i haven't". wierd. then how come he knew my name? boggled me for a while there. maybe i heard wrongly or something.

after a few drinks, i had to go to the little girls' room. the queue was exceptionally long lor. imagine waiting for what seemed like 15 mins for the toilet! i came back then started dancing. suddenly there were these malay guys around me. the one with the cheeky look suddenly walked to me and said "hey you dance very well". sorry, but i don't think that's a good pick up line. heh. i politely replied "thank you" and walked off to where my friends were.

after clubbing, i called sharon to ask her where she was. she said she was in royce's car. 6699. haha what a kinky car plate number. me in my drunken state didn't know what car it was - looked something along the lines of a white or dark blue, mitsubishi lancer or mitsubishi evolution or subaru wrx. f*ck. i'm drawn to his nice car. :) [but i will never be drawn to short and ugly guys who especially drive black '350Z's (it's a nissan fair lady if you're clueless) and go around asking if you'd like a fling. i'd f*ck myself if i were you.] and for the record, i am NOT materialistic, nor will i go steady with someone just because they're loaded. it's merely an additional perk. nuff' said.

what does the word "zouk" rhyme with? "waiting" perhaps? i don't know what was it with the valet parking over there. they took like 15 minutes to get the car out of the car park. duh. i will never park my car there if i drove down! *pout* i didn't manage to eat supper with the rest at allson hotel in the end. weiliang sent me home instead. the minute i closed my door, i went to the toilet to puke. i actually fell asleep in there, can you believe me? i woke up at 5am to drag myself back to my bed to sleep.

needless to say, the reason why at this time i can blog is because i didn't go school. so i'm just gonna get an mc later. :) moral of the story: i shall drive when i go clubbing next time, so that i won't drink.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

who's linking me?

damn it. i've got tons of projects to do, and they're all incomplete! so i skipped school today. *angelic face*

went to the doc at 7pm when i was supposed to meet alph at 7.30pm. hah. got there, and guess who i met at the clinic? loui. luey. lowe. er i dunno how to spell her name. anyway she was there for the same purpose as me - to get a mc to cover our asses. :D

after chatting a lil, i realised that she read my blog. *gasp* how did my blog ever reach her eyes?!? then i found out that my sis actually linked my blog from hers. and i don't even know what's my sister's blog address. no wonder my site hits can reach 200 so fast, when i only told like 5 people about it. haha!

eh wait. this means that there's a very high risk that the person reading my blog may actually be someone who knows my boyfriend! that person will then try to jeopardise my relationship with him. how EVIL!

Monday, March 15, 2004

lil miss panda eyes

i am so pissed off. yes, i really am pissed off! i was supposed to handle the CRM together with my "advisor" for the blood donation drive project for my CCA. after going through a meeting and a shopping trip, my so-called "advisor" decided to quietly settle it with the president of the club. and he didn't even bother to tell me until i asked him about the gifts. "so what do you mean 'u think its gonna be sweets'? who's making the decisions?", then he replied "the president and myself." AND WHAT ABOUT ME AND MY F*CK*NG POSITION?!? now who wouldn't be pissed off - you tell me!

ergh. never mind about that sh*t. i need a haircut. i seriously need to get some bangs coming. although i'd much love a curly head, my finances doesn't permit me to. so i'm just gonna keep the long straight layered hair, and cut some bangs. :)

ok, can't blog too much today. got project to finish by tonight! cherrios!

Sunday, March 14, 2004

my shopping extravaganza

do you know what the biggest problem there is with me? i can't seem to stop shopping. small items; big items. cheap bargains; expensive splurges. i can't stop buying stuff!

i went shopping yesterday(in fact i think i've been shopping the whole week considering my buys online) and bought a chi-chi lunchbox-looking bag(erm actually it was a wooden box) from inspira fashion. :) a tad heavy for a bag, but it was so out-of-the-world that i HAD to buy it!

got cheated by justin again to pay for the tickets for the movie. ergh. why is it always me who's paying for movies and food?!? (he was supposed to "bring" me to watch a movie yesterday) so what does he pay for? NOTHING. yes, f*ck*ng nothing. no flowers, no presents, no cards. and he still owes me my birthday present, christmas present, valentine's day present...

i swear i will not break off with him until i get what i am entitled to. vicious women of the world unite!

Thursday, March 11, 2004

pardon me for my crudeness today

i swear i'm gonna murder those people who made the price of mobile phones so expensive. after my exam just now, i decided to pop by junction 8 to check out the panasonic x70. almost had a heart attack when i heard the price. $898 without line, $638 with 2-yr contract, and it doesn't even come with the bluetooth headset. it's FREAKIN' expensive lor! even if i trade in my nokia 6610, the most i can get is a $200 discount. where on earth am i gonna find the other $438?!? ARGH. [eh wait. i think my mum got 10% off at hello stores. *grin*]

ok, so i dropped by the sistic outlet after that. wanted to get tickets for the beauty and the best show. my lil sis has been bugging me to bring her along. (hehe my 2nd sis and i kept talking about it, which made my lil sis very gian to go) sucky seats left, so i didn't buy. but i'll probably go down again (this time with my 2nd sis) to see if they've got other seats later.

drove home after that. omg. i realised that my car actually has quite a big dent. no, it's NOT NOT NOT caused by myself. maybe it was the lighting. it didn't used to be this big. wierd. ok anyway, it was caused some time ago by some F*CK*NG inconsiderate B*ST*RD and son of a B*TCH(i swear i'm gonna let you get f*ck*d in the *ss by your exhaust pipe if i knew who you were!) who obliviously opened his door(not d*ck) too F*CK*NG hard and big that it caused a dent at the side of my you-know-the-quality-of-the-metal-used-on-my-car-is-cheap car door. and my car wasn't even 2 months old then! ARGH. the thought of it really makes me mad. BE CALM NOW. BE CALM. B-E C-A-L-M.

so i reached home. daddy returned me the cheque i wrote out to him for the $94.61 charge card bill i chalked up while he was in china. how nice!!! :D but in turn, i have to use the money to pay for my lil sister's beauty and the beast ticket. :/ never mind, i still saved some money nonetheless. :) i am happy.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

mathematics... i like :)

let's do a bit of math here:
Josh is an NS man. He brings home a salary of $370 per month. He doesn't need to give his parents money, but he owns a bike which requires him to repay back $190 each month. This is not inclusive of his petrol fees which costs about $30 per month. Not forgetting he smokes, setting him back by around $10 per day. Meals cost $4 a day on an average. How much money does Josh have left at the end of the month?

Solution:
NS salary = +$370
Bike repayment = -$190
Petrol = -$30
Ciggarettes @ $10/day = -$300
Meals @ $4/day = -$120
Balance = -$270

So every month, Josh owes $270 to someone. Oh, i forgot to mention that Josh hasn't given his girlfriend her birthday present, christmas present and valentine's day present. What's more, their anniversary is coming up. This is bad, because Josh doesn't have any money left. Although he has suggested to his girlfriend that they should take a holiday to Thailand in June, he has no clue himself as to how he is going to find the money to pay for it. In fact, he hasn't given his girlfriend anything - not a single stalk of flower, not a single slice of cake, not a single card. NOTHING.

Oh, what the heck, he always assumes that his girlfriend is very rich just because she seems to have countless branded stuff. But he is wrong. His girlfriend is not receiving any allowance from her parents now due to a change in financial situation. And although she keeps telling him that he is broke, he still asks that she pay for meals and stuff like that.

If you were a by-stander, would you ask his girlfriend to keep him or leave him? Drop your answers in the tag-board on the right. :) The results will be out real soon. Haha. Stay tuned.

no exam today!

the following paragraphs of sh*t that i'm gonna say is gonna be hurting and sterotypical. i am not targetting this at anyone except myself. (duh, it's my blog!) please, for goodness sake, do not think that i'm hitting it at you, because i am merely using names for connections to what my point is. nonetheless, i have changed the victims' names to protect their identities. but i suggest that if you do not fancy reading something with explicit content, please leave this site immediately, or jump to the next blog entry PLEASE. thank you.

here is what i have to say about myself: i am a straight forward and honest BITCH who doesn't believe in beating around the bush. screw love. i f*cking hate it. (fwah when has anyone seen me this crude?) oh, in case you're wondering, no, i haven't broken off with justin yet.

the thing about relationships not working seems to be the norm these days. what do jenny, coco and myself have in common? relationship problems. jenny is going to break up with her long-time bf because his aspirations don't go along with hers. coco is feeling depressed because her bf is behaving suspiciously wierd with her in public.

and me? i'm just plain sick of being attached. having to report to someone whatever i do; having to be mindful of my own actions; having to be the goody-two-shoes when i meet his parents. it gets tiring after some time.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

stressed

i'm pissed with www.blogger.com. why can't they give us more pages to work with instead of asking us to squeeze all our personal info on one page? there's just so much i want to say about myself. actually i think i'll never end if it weren't for someone who made the question "don't you think you're too long-winded?" hah!

detour for a lil while here - new words to associate myself with: salient, recalcitrant and contumacious. (i just had to add these in! hehe.)

andy called me after my exam just now and asked how fast can i go on a holiday. hah! er sorry ah, we have to wait until may, earliest. otherwise, we can only take a friday nite leave, sunday nite return holiday. quite rushed leh!

the only time when i can leave singapore without asking for an approval, is when i am single. now, when will that day be?

24hrs a day just isn't enough

who says a guy and a girl cannot be platonic friends? a good example is me and andy. andy is my bestest of guy pals. he never fails to cheer me up. never fails to let me pengz when he says something pervertic. HAH! and he's almost always there whenever i need him. what more can a demanding girl like me ask for? :P

i woke up this morning with a dream. i dreamt of tracy chan. she came back to find me and threatened me if i didn't do some stuff for her. wierd eh? btw, for the clueless you, tracy chan was my ex-schoolmate. she got caught around 2 yrs ago for selling drugs to an undercover cop and is now serving her 6 yr jail term. still got 4 more yrs to go, so how can she come and haunt me right? haha. wierd dreams i've got.

think i really need a break ah. just look at the things on my agenda (below is just an excerpt). with so many things not yet accomplished, where can i find time for a boyfriend?

i asked andy if he wanted to go on a holiday, and his reply was "anytime cupcakes!" *giggles* if anyone were to look at my neoprint and lovegetty collection, one would think that i am/was andy's girlfriend. we may be the closest of pals, but i think BGR is out of the question. don't wanna spoil the fantasic friendship that i've nurtured with him over the 8 yrs that i've known him.

i suggested to andy that we take a trip to KL in june to watch the japan GT race in sepang. he said ok! then again, i wanna go to a beach villa where there's a private pool. he said ok too! haha. sorry KL and beach villas just don't go together. so when the time is drawing near, then i'll decide again. think it's gonna be lots of fun! hehe. (for the record, i don't sleep around. thank you.)

things that i really want to do:
1. think about whether i should break up with justin or not
2. think about what i really want in life
3. buy more bags :D (hehe me and my bag fetish now)
4. watch disney on ice
5. watch midsummer's night dream
6. go malaysia shopping with clarice (weiliang u also wanna go rite?)
7. go malaysia makan with weiliang (hopefully beecheng and marvyn can come along!)
8. meet up with keng san (another good platonic male friend!!)
9. buy a panasonic x70 (cos my darned phone is really really spoilt)
10. donate blood to save someone else's life
11. go on a holiday to phuket or KL with andy (if possible both)
12. upgrade my pentium 2 computer
13. buy a webcam
14. study real hard
15. think of how to earn and save money while studying
and the list goes on...

oh ya, anyone knows where i can buy pepper spray from? you know, those to spray at your attacker's eyes... drop me an email at watashi_wa_h@hotmail.com k.

Monday, March 08, 2004

just a lil bit confused

mixed emotions. to opt out or opt in? that is the question.

out - insecurity issues. be it him feeling that way because i don't assure him enough, or me afraid that he cannot provide me with a roof to live under in time to come.

in - i still love him.

which weighs more? i'm still figuring that out. but in the meantime, i'll keep my eyes open. i love my social circle now. it's getting wider. maybe if i take a break from the relationship, i can think it over more throughly huh? i'll take a step as it goes from now. who knows what's in store for me tomorrow?

Sunday, March 07, 2004

on the road to freedom perhaps?

bugged justin to wake up early to bring me eat killiney kopitiam's kaya toasts. i don't know how anyone can sleep like..forever. is there a direct link (no offence to those who think i'm directly hitting it at you) between fat people and sleeping? something to ponder about.

breakfast was delicious. :) hot kaya 'buarred' onto toasted bread with a slap of butter on top. heavenly!! i ended up buying one jar of kaya home, so that my whole family can be converts too. hehe...

how can you kiss someone, then the next minute say into her face "dear do you still love me? i think you don't love me anymore"? it hurts. i cried after i shooed him home. i'm beginning to re-assess my relationship. maybe it just isn't a good idea to be with somebody so insecure, and so willing to give in? i don't like dominating the relationship. i want to be the 'xiao nu ren'!

Saturday, March 06, 2004

smart ass

somebody was very clever yesterday to erase all the msgs in her phone. who was that? it was none other than yours truly. ME?! remember the bit when i said my mobile's keypad was a lil spoilt? yeah. i was supposed to only clear the sent msgs, but it must have been because i pressed too hard or something. it deleted all the msgs in EVERY box. :\ so much for being clever eh?

was quite a slacker yesterday - kept sleeping whenever i hit my books. was supposed to meet up with xuelin and clarice yesterday. but in the end, xuelin had something on, so clarice and myself met up instead.

initially we decided on going indochine at wisma. the live band there is not too bad. plus, there were plenty of seating space. but the fickle minded me decided that we should go to francis' karaoke bar to check the place out instead. :)

after rounds of driving around the area trying to find a parking lot [i actually got lost around the area, and almost got the police coming after me cos i exitted by the wrong direction!!!], i reached creme bar (at circular road, behind boat quay) at about 10pm. we walked into the bar, searched around, but couldn't find francis!! so i couldn't give him a surprise and had to call him to ask where he was...

"hello francis ah. this is stephanie! where are you ah?"
"i'm in hougang eating leh. what's up?"
"i'm at ur bar leh. haha. you gonna come down later?"
"huh you at my bar ah. okok you got place to sit anot?"
"don't have leh. your place full man."
"ok you give me 5 mins i'll call you back. i'll arrange for a seat for you. you down there got how many people?"
"only me and my girlfriend. 2 lor."
"okok i'll ask them to get a seat for you guys. wait for my call ah."

*5 mins later*
"steph ah, you go inside to look for francis and pass him the phone."
"huh? francis ask me to go inside the bar to look for francis to pass him the phone?"
"ya got another francis inside. haha. pass him the phone then i'll tell him what to do."
"ok... you wait ah."

*walked into the bar, went to the bar counter to ask who is francis. bartender then leads me to the back door where francis number 2 is. as i stepped out of the door, i had a shock of my life! MEN were peeing there. okok i didn't see anything. :X i waited for francis(2) to finish with his business, then passed him the phone. they chatted, then promptly cleared a table for us*

we sat down, and francis(2) asked us what we'd like to drink. hmm as usual. no idea. so he offered to serve us iced water. heh. francis(1) told him to take good care of us, and he is asking us if we wanted to drink iced water?! talk about treating us well huh! bah. we ordered fruit punch instead. :)

review of creme bar: nice friendly staff(i thought the waitresses were quite pretty and friendly). lovely zen-like decor (although the decor doesn't go with the karaoke bar kinda feel-ly). warning: don't go on fridays cos there were some wierd, noisy and rowdy bunch of people screaming their lungs out on the mike(and off the mike too). generally, i like it. :D

okok so after some 2 hours later, francis(1) made his grand entrance. bought us another 2 glasses of fruit punch, then butterfly-ed between our table and another one, and at last sat with us after his friends left. chatted a bit here and there. talked about the old times. oh, how i miss those days! [oh ya, some guy at the bar bought us another fruit punch each too. so in total we each drank 3 glasses of fruit punch yesterday! HAHA!]

the night ended lovely at 4am. the waitress took a picture of us using the bartender's mobile. i wanted to send the mms to myself, but i told her to send it to francis(1) instead, then he will send it to me. smart move eh? ;) if i can post it up here, i'll try to. but the mms picture hasn't got to me yet. haha.

francis(1) then offered to drive us to the car cos it was a lil dark for 2 ladies to be walking around the quiet place in the middle of the night (i parked at golden shoe carpark, which was quite a distance away). so we got into his car. it smelt of apples. YUM. but he refused to say where he got the car freshener from. he kept saying its the smell from his body. HAHA!

francis(1) has changed alot. he grew rounder(haha) and he upgraded his car - from the ahbeng-ish manual-drive suzuki swift hatchback to a auto-drive toyota corolla with a body kit. francis ah, you may be a businessman, but the car is still ahbeng-ish with the skirts! :P

we stopped downstairs the carpark. but he, being a gentleman, offered to drive us upstairs to get the car. [omg so sweet right? ignoring the fact that he still has to pay for parking cos its the ERP kind!] we got off his car, then got into my car. he waited for us to go off first, then he trailed slowly behind.

as usual, the super-blur me doesn't know her way around the area. so its like whatever way i could go, i just went lah, although francis was still trailing behind me. then i received a call from him.

"you know the way around anot ah?"
"uh actually i don't. haha. abit lost now!"
"okok why don't you follow behind me then i'll lead you into the expressway."
"haha okok."

so we drove alongside each other at a slow 80km/h. actually i didn't know that he wanted me to lead. heh. until i couldn't take driving at 80km/h so i sped up and he continued following behind. he waved bye and exitted from the ang mo kio ave 3 exit while i took the ang mo kio ave 5 exit to send clarice home. [woot! i hit a 135km/h on lentor avenue yesterday. simply exhilirating!!!]

it was a lovely but tired night. now, back to studying! :(

Friday, March 05, 2004

sunny holiday oh oh oh

what i need is an escape from the rest of the world. leave tomorrow to a secret island; not telling anyone where i am going; cancel my auto-roaming service; and resist the urge to connect to the internet.

for the only time in my life, you all would hear me say that i want to don my brazillian bikini(bought it few months back but never had a chance to use it), stroll down a white sandy beach, take my book out, and just bask in the sun. who knows - someone may ask me if i wanna go skkubbahdiving! ;)

back to the topic now - what draws me are the villas by the sea. i wonder what it would feel like soaking in a bath tub, while you enjoy the calm scenery around you. hopefully there aren't any pervs around peeping! check this site out. you guys will all be converts! *giggles*

studious kid

i studied with delon and shasha(her name is actually zhusha) yesterday downstairs their block in ang mo kio. never ever have i been that hardworking! if it's not because of my long term goal to be an independent woman(sounds cliche eh?) i also wouldn't have stayed there until 3.30am. haiz. if it weren't for the parking attendant going round to summon the cars at 3.30am, i also wouldn't have left that early. thought i could still push myself more. haha.

feeling quite stressed these days. exams, projects, and what nots. justin keeps putting pressure on me too. he just doesn't understand that the time when i need him to stop bugging me is during my exam period! [jean i know exactly how u feel man!]

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

great fcuk!

woke up at 9am this morning so that i could be one of the first to go into the FCUK sale. hah! kiasu right? well, no choice if everyone that shops there is the same size as you!!!

i reached there late as usual (ugh traffic was congested, and my carpark receipt says i arrived at 10:44 and left at 12:18). my sis also specially forgone her morning lesson just to go shopping with me. hehe. anyway, after what seemed like a 10 year wait for the fitting room, i went in to try on the clothes. that took a fairly long time, because i was just taking any outfit i saw, then throwing it into the bag provided.

i really really really liked this spaghetti strapped blouse that i tried. it was perfect and erm it did enhance my assets(or the lack of it). but a pity it was $79 and there was only a 50% + 10% off. Still above my budget for a sale item!!! Starting to regret not buying it cos it was the last piece and it was size 8. ARGH.

Nonetheless, i didn't want to come home empty handed. So i bought a FCUK tshirt that read "great fcuk" at the front. kinky eh? ;) don't you just love the way they use the pun? hehe.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

the word of the day. yay yay.

may i present to you a new word that i've learnt today. here is... mr "recalcitrant"

recalcitrant \ rih-KAL-suh-trunt \ adjective
1. obstinately defiant of authority or restraint
2a. difficult to manage or operate
2b. not responsive to treatment
2c. resistant

example: anna's doctor ordered a week of complete bed rest, but, ever recalcitrant when it comes to doctors' orders, she was up and baking a cake after two days.

hmm. come to think of it, it's a new word that i can use to describe myself too! nice. :)

Monday, March 01, 2004

skuubbahdiving?

i have this sudden urge to improve my english vocabulary. can someone offer to pass me their dictionary if they're not using it? THANKS AH! :D hehe.

i speak my heart, but i'm afraid of he who hears of it

i feel constrainted. claustrophobic. afraid. unsure. this relationship of mine has suddenly turned monotonous, unlively, and even a drag. as much as i have yearned for such a peaceful love life, it just isn't the same as what i felt almost a year ago.

he gives me lots of freedom, but at the end of the day, i'm supposed to report to him whatever that has happened. it's the same routine every day. if his dad doesn't buy food for him, then we'll go out and have dinner together. sometimes i meet my friends, and he stays at home and keeps msging me, asking me when will i be back home.

don't know if you all feel the same way, but i dislike people interrupting me when i'm having a good time. be it shopping, out with my friends, or anything else. it's annoying when you're out with a person, and that person's fingers are constantly glued to his/her mobile phone. it's one aspect which i cannot tolerate from my friends, therefore i'm sure they expect the same for me too.

but he doesn't give a damn. how long does it take to sms anyway right? VERY long - my hp's keypad is a little spoilt so i have to press really hard on each button. he always asks only one question per sms. imagine the number of times i have to reply! so i always have to pre-empt his questions, and give all details up front. if i decide to ignore it and reply later, he'll keep asking me why do i take such a long time to reply. at the end of the msg, it's always a "dear do you still love me?" from him.

i cannot take it anymore. this is not me. this is not the life that i want to live for the next 10, 20 or 30 years. if you can't accept me for who i am, then aren't we both better off single?

i love you. but i want you to accept me for who i am, not who you want me to be. can you fathom that? maybe i complain too much. i actually think that i'm a really bad girlfriend to anyone. but i'm a sagittarian, my dear. i cannot be tied down. what i need is freedom and lots of it.