Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Without Him

I was in church yesterday for the feast of the Assumption of Mary. A day of obligation in the liturgical calendar for us, Catholics.

I went alone.

Hardly surprising, really. Ever since i broke away from choir in 2002 or so, i've always been going to church alone.

I go through various phases of my church-going life, and it's sad how friends just come and go. (And i'm talking about the people who go with me to church.) Of course, from the time i was an infant until i was primary 4, i went to church with my dear old family. Then in primary 5, i decided to join the sunset mass choir because i loved singing (although i did think it was a good way of making more friends too, but that is not the main point).

The reason why i broke away in 2002, was because i thought i had better things to do -- like to hang out with my then-boyfriend on Saturday nights. In fact, things got really bad then because i used to stay over at his house every bloody weekend. Sleeping really late on Saturdays, and hardly ever could have gotten up on Sunday mornings. Sunday sunset masses were absolutely boring to the big B, so i skipped them too.

In fact, i skipped away from the Lord ever since i had that very boyfriend in 2000. Stupid huh?

Well, you haven't heard the worst. I dropped out of TP then, and found a temp 3 month job in Starhub. Then around the date when my contract was about to end, his mum asked me to work for her at her small neighbourhood spa, and i agreed. Just as i told my supervisor, days later, he dumped me in 2002.

I almost wanted to end my life. I was crying days and nights, until my eyes were swollen every single day. It was like..The End of the World!

Guess who i turned to, in the end?

My Saviour, God.

It's amazing how God works in so many different ways to show us that he truly cares for us, and wants us to grow closer to him. I turned to God every single day. I went to the Novena to pray on my days off and sometimes before and after work. Initially i thought that praying for God to let things be okay with my ex would be the way to go. It didn't work.


Because i was praying for the wrong stuff. Hah! I then prayed for God to give me the strength to overcome whatever obstacles that came my way. Ahh..Then it worked. =)

I then learnt that it's not what comes your way that mattered, but it's how you have the strength to overcome all bad things. God was my support pillar. When i was down, he got me to stand up with my head high and move on. Something that i admit that i would truly not be able to do alone.

Without religion and God, i am nothing.

So don't throw God in the corner, look to him for he brings unconditional love, peace and support. It won't hurt to take an hour off the 168 hours we live by each week, to go church.

God will be waiting for you.


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