I just don't know

It's so wierd that my posts these days have been..discounted. Discounted in the sense that while i used to write posts that spanned 5 paragraphs on the average, i now write posts which have only a line, and on better days, they complete a paragraph.

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I first dabbled with computers when i was just a lil girl of 9 years old or so. Daddy played with MSDOS and he taught me how to use it too. (Me and my sister had lessons at home! Haha.)

There was the pac-man game then, but our favourite game was still the Prince of Persia! Wonder if anyone would remember that game.. Hmm... We had to go through 20 levels of fighting the "ba yi" (turban head) men then save the princess in the end. There was a cheat code too that we used to skip levels. Heh heh ;) So fun!

Then daddy bought a modem. We could access this MS-DOS based site called "teleview" or something like it. It was kind of like an internet, however there were only singaporean sites that could be viewed and it was kinda boring cos the games were all chargable.

Hey wait. I suddenly remembered that i also used Lotus123 before Microsoft Excel came about, and yes... i have used the REAL 5 1/4" FLOPPY DISKS before! Hahaha. This is so funny!

Windows 3.1 was out. And we started using the new operating system. It sure was fun cos everything could be clicked on with just a move of my mouse with a ball. Hahaha. Daddy soon bought a black and white scanner. It was expensive and the picture quality sucked big time, but the good news was that we were still in sync with technology!

So funny that i digressed from my original topic and yep, i shall stop here because there isn't much to write about the change in technology anymore. Back to the topic on blogging.

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The internet became big when i was still in secondary school. And check how wierd is this -- i signed up for a guestbook at geocities before i even had a homepage going. All my friends who were older than me kept asking "so where's your homepage?" and i had to reply "i only have a guestbook, so please sign there for the time being!"

I started writing online web logs before blogger came in..it should date back to the year 2000 when i had just mastered the art of typing the markup language html.

And i started writing only because i thought it to be interesting to publish my thoughts on my own website. Back then, the only free web hosting site was Geocities, as far as i knew. I also remembering using a free cjb.net service to cloak the long url.

My lecturer forced us to learn the hard code way before we were introduced to the magnificent godsend program, Macromedia Dreamweaver 4 (I'm using Dreamweaver 8 now already!). Thereafter, my webpages slowly evolved.

After i heard about blogger, i signed up for it, and voila! Here i am, telling my grandmother stories. I took an hour recollecting memories for today's post. But it still cannot be compared to the times when i actually took 3 hours to compose a long long long long long post.

But hey, i had an audience to write to then. I remember scoring hits of at least a hundred daily. Soon after, i had people telling tales behind my back, and wierdos who took my pictures off my site to post them in the sggirls forum. How lame is that!

Then, i stopped blogging. I changed my blog address but continued posting to my only audience, myself. But what the heck, i changed blog address (think i did that for a few times) and here i am, once again, trying to regain my former glory.

But it isn't possible anymore. Firstly, i don't just tell ANYBODY my blog address. Secondly, i don't write with as much passion as before. Thirdly, my posts just aren't juicy enough. My life has become mundane. My girlfriends have their boyfriends to go to, and don't have time for me anymore. I don't model anymore cos i'm fat. No money, no motivation.

What am i to do after i graduated? I don't know my direction. I change my mind every minute. Daryl urged me to join sg idol. I kept thinking "nah". Then at 7.30pm yesterday, i was half-hearted to take part in it today! At 8pm, i decided against it. It's just too humiliating for me.

Ah. I feel like a wreck.

The only good news is that i think my cousin joined and got in!